Autumn's Grief: A Path to Transformation

I have always loved autumn. It has never been a time of depression for me. Rather, it has represented a still retreat, a natural inward withdrawal. The falling leaves, the cooler air—these always gave me a sense of peace, as if the world slowed down and I was finally allowed to enjoy my inner stillness. It was a time to retreat, to cosy up and rest in my own space. But this autumn has been different. For the first time, it felt heavy. The mantle of grief had settled over me, and I realized I needed to experience this heaviness to be able to share it.

The Energy of Grief in TCM: Lungs and Metal

According to Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), autumn is connected to the metal element and the lungs, which represent the energy of grief. This year, I felt that energy more strongly than ever before. It was as if my body and soul were crying out to release something deep inside. I’ve had a persistent cough, not related to a cold, but as if something wanted to come out—something old that had remained stuck and stagnant in my lungs. The energy of grief manifested in my body, and it felt like a heavy mantle, weighing me down from above.

The Weight and the Victim Role

I felt myself spinning around under this mantle of grief. Stuck in it. Afraid to disperse it, afraid to let go. It was as if grief had become a place to hide, but also something that kept me bound. Letting go felt frightening—who was I without it? What kept me holding on?

I knew that it’s easy to fall into a victim role, where it feels more comfortable to stay in the heaviness than to step into the light. There are energies that feed off our victim roles, energies from other dimensions that we may not always be aware of, but that hold us in our old thought patterns. I am well aware of these forces, but the awareness doesn’t always make it easier to break free.

Quan Yin and the Universal Grief

One of my most important mentors over the past 20 years has been Quan Yin, the one who hears all cries. She was my way into healing, and she has followed me through the years as a reminder that grief exists everywhere, but there is also a way through it. I often wondered if the grief I felt was truly my own, or if I was perceiving a universal grief. For many years, I carried a sense that there is a larger, universal sorrow vibrating beneath the surface, and I have a special ability to sense it. But this year, I was forced to face my own mantle of grief. It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. At the same time, I learned to stay strong in my own light, even when the universal grief tried to pull me down.

Grief and Disappointment: Two Sides of the Same Coin?

I’ve also wondered if grief is always about loss. Is it always something that has been lost? Or could it be that we feel grief over expectations that were never fulfilled, dreams that never became reality? Perhaps the difference between grief and disappointment lies in this: disappointment is when we mourn what never was, while grief is about letting go of what actually was. For me, they often went hand in hand, but this year I became more aware of the difference. Understanding the two has helped me see what I truly needed to let go of.

Transformation through Grief

For me, grief is not only about pain—it is about transformation. I have learned that grief is a path, a process that requires trust. It’s about daring to let go, to not hold on to what has been, and to open yourself to what lies on the other side. Transformation happens the moment I let go of the grief and step into the light again. It’s not a linear process; it comes in waves, sometimes unexpectedly, sometimes with force. But every time I dare to let go, I grow a little stronger.

The Higher Energy and the Power of Light

Over the past few years, I have worked with other mentors to learn how to handle my connection to 5D plasma-crystal energy, of which I am a carrier. This has given me a deeper understanding of how energies move through us, how we can both hold on to and release them. The energy of grief is heavy, but it also has the potential for change and growth. Through working with this higher energy, I’ve realized that grief is not an end—it is a portal to something new, if we only have the trust to step through it.

The End and the Beginning of a New Phase

This autumn, through my own experience, I have learned that grief is part of life’s cycle, just as autumn is part of the cycle of seasons. It is a time to retreat, to release the old, and to make space for the new. I have always loved autumn, and even though it has been heavy this year, I now realize that it is an important part of my own transformation. Grief is not my enemy; it is my teacher. And I trust that the light is on the other side.

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The soft light ahead on the road reminded me that even when the shadows are deep, there is always a way forward. The light is always there, present and waiting to meet us where we are.

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The soft light and shadows reminded me how life is always a blend of light and darkness. Transformation happens when we learn to embrace both and continue forward, even when the path is uncertain.

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Like a portal, the light ahead on the road opened up, inviting me to step into the unknown. Here, the past and the future meet, and I step forward with trust, ready to embrace what awaits on the other side.

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Here, the power of light is shown in its purest form. The heavy, wet moisture transformed into light steam, rising and disappearing. Grief can also be lifted when light reaches what has been held and transforms it into something lighter and freer.

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Do you recognize yourself?

‍Have you perhaps gotten stuck in your grief or need help letting go? I'm here to help guide you on your journey toward light and transformation. Feel free to reach out if you feel you need support.